"YOUR STRESSED..."

A stranger told me today that Im stressed. That I have allot on my mind. And it made me think. I really must be. Ive always always ALWAYS been a very laid back kind of guy. I didnt worry about a thing. But that was the past. But saying that I still retain some of those traits. But maybe its somthing that Ive always been through. Something that may have laid dormant for a while until later on in my life. I dont know. Ive got a lot to try and figure out for myself. Ivm going to try and write a list of things that stress me out a bit. Possibly in no particular order.

1. I hate being the oldest brother. How Ive turned out is totally not what I wanted to be. I feel sorry for my younger siblings. ESPECIALLY my middle brother. He should have either had a better brother or been the eldest. I should realy lead by example to the younger ones. But thats not the case.

2. I should really have been the best son in the world. But Im not. Im the eldest and have done nothing to make my mum proud.

3.Islam. In my heart its the most beautiful religion in the world. And I know if I try my best it would make drastic positive changes in my life and know Id be FAR more happier...I know this but Im so easily distracted. I love the world too much and I love women. But I also love Allah with ALL MY HEART. But its hard. Its hard to stay on the straight path. In Islam Allah is THE MOST MERCIFUL and capable of forgiving anything. But sometimes I wonder how many times he can forgive me for my silly mistakes. I really hope He is patient with me inshAllah(which means 'God willing').

4. My mind. Wow. My mind has started to rebel against me and sometimes doesnt cooperate with me. I hate waking up not knowing wether your gonna have a crap day or not. "Will I be alright on my own?" "Will I be able to cope with life?" "Will I ever get my big break?". All theses thoughts and funny feelings running through my mind. Bloody nora!

5. ANXIETY. I HHHHAAAAAATTTTTTTEEEEEEE IT!!!! WITH A PASSION!!!!! Chest pains, breathing problems, a feeling of losing control, waking up at odd hours.

6. Myself. I am no longer comfortable with my own self anymore and thats one of the scariest things to happen to me for a while.

Im gonna try and feel out the rest of the list if I get time. Im starting to feel tired now.