BAD BRAIN!

I've been away from this blog for a little while now which is a good thing. Nothings has been amazing but it definitely hasn't been that bad either. Its was good enough to keep me away anyway. But as per usual it was only a matter of time till I started feeling "different" again.

I was in the Sainsburys today and I felt a little anxious with a dash of sadness. On top of that I hadn't eaten for the whole day so that may have added to my slightly melancholy mood. I tried to eat a bit healthy whilst I was there but got seduced by the chocolate milkshake. I couldnt help it. It was just stared at me and Im a weak man. The way I see it Im fragile right now so Im bloody entitled to treat myself.

Anyway, The reason its all gone a bit pear shaped for me right now is all because of Saturday night. Everyone in my family had all of a sudden decided they were going out. So one by one they all left. This is usually cool. I dont always have a problem with this. In fact Im always longing for the opportunity to be left alone. Im a grown ass man. I need the space sometimes. But this time it was different. As soon as the last person left my brain gradually woke up and realised that I was the only one in the house and went into panic mode. It wasnt a panic attack . It was more of an extreme worry. I tried my best to keep myself calm. I even watched a film. But this time round my brain was its own master. It totally ignored me. The bastard!

So now Im left feeling a bit sad, very tired, a little confused, pessimistic and just down right low.But you know what? Im going to try and keep thinking positive and pray and hope for this all to blow over!